One of the biggest questions you will be asked, right after “Have you set a date” is: “Where are you registered?” So I thought I would talk about my experiences registering, and offer some tips to make it easy and enjoyable.

Best tip I can give you is START EARLY. My fiancé and I started the registration process back in August for our upcoming July wedding. Now, before you think I am totally off my rocker, let me explain: Based on our calculation of 150 wedding guests, it is recommended that we register for 200 gifts in various price ranges (under $25.00, $25.00-50.00, $50.00-100.00 and over $100.00) Two hundred gifts! ohhhh Boy….

First thing you need to do is identify the stores/services you would like to register for–This is not your grandmother’s registry! Couples are registering their honeymoons, mortgages, home improvements, right along with their china and silver pattern. You can choose as many registries as you wish, but you might want to limit it to 3 or 4, so that you are not spread too thin. We chose Macy’s, Target, and The Honeymoon.com as our registries. Since we already have a home and are older than the “average” young couple just starting their life out, we don’t really need a lot of the things that are on a traditional registry. And since we have a lot of eclectic friends, we thought offering a honeymoon registry would appeal to a lot of them–rather than buying us a toaster.

And if you are thinking “If I don’t register anywhere, people will just give me money”–think again…Some people are not comfortable giving money under any circumstances–or want to buy you a gift. Do you really want to risk getting 7 blenders and a leg lamp for your shower? Register–even if its only for a few things.

Now, sometimes no matter where you register, people are going to go off your registry and buy you what they think you should have. You may have to stick the giant toad lamp in the closet, and bring it out when Aunt Diane comes to visit. This is part of getting married…

As I mentioned above, we registered at Macy’s and Target and Honeymoon. com. We thought this would give our guests a good range of gifts from which to choose. Macy’s is where a lot of the art we are looking for was, as well as a lot of our cooking, bath and bed items are registered. Target is where our grill, our dishes and a bunch of other neat stuff is registered. Honeymoon.com is very neat in the fact that you make a list of activities you would like to do on your honeymoon (eg: an afternoon of snorkeling) well, in Bermuda, the snorkeling package we are looking at is $75.00 per person, so we registered for (2) of those, and so on…they think its neat and different.

Its also a good idea to register for stores that have an on-line option. Where you can set up/add to your registry online, and your guests can purchase things online, as well as in the store. We set up all of our registries online, and added to the Target one exclusively online. It’s easier to search online, rather than roaming the stores for hours on end, scanning items to put in your registry. It can also be done anytime, day or night. And you may have guests who do not live near a store you are registered at–so they can just go online, and with a credit card and a few clicks, send it out…

A lot of stores will offer different programs on their registry–like 10% off everything remaining on your registry for 90 days after your wedding, …or a rebate gift card that is a % of the cost of the items purchased from you registry (usually 5 or 10%). You could use that with your 10% off to pick some of the things you did not get, but will need.

So, now that you have identified your stores and have set up your registries, either on-line or in the store, it’s time to start adding things you want people to buy for you! But don’t try to do it all at once. Your taste will change, and things will be discontinued, or new things will come in, so you will will be changing and revising it as time goes on. I would spend about an hour at a time, looking through things we may be interested in. Sometimes, my fiancé’s would sit with me, and we would discuss the existing items, and change some of them, and add some more.

Another interesting thing is that the custom of giving money as a wedding gift and giving a gift at the shower is very popular here in NEPA–not everywhere else. When my cousin got married in Boston, the only guests who brought envelopes to the wedding were the folks from our area–everyone else chose a gift from the couple’s registry.

Here are a couple of interesting things –it is actually considered bad etiquette to being a gift to a wedding! Gifts are supposed to be sent to the bride’s home prior to the wedding. Also, a wedding gift is not a mandatory thing. Folks are under no obligation to give a gift. Now, most people do, but its not a requirement.

And thank you notes should be written within 3 months of the wedding, not a year. And those cute little tags on the favors you gave at the shower and the wedding with the “Thank you for the lovely wedding/shower gift”?–they don’t count. Every gift giver at the shower and wedding should receive a hand written thank you note–no exceptions!

Do you have any tips that you would like to share about YOUR registries? I would love to hear about them!