My wedding was a month ago yesterday, and I am happy to say, the day went PERFECTLY, from beginning to end, it was everything my husband (!) and I hoped it would be…

 Everyone that was there said it was the best wedding they had ever been to–that the music was perfect, the food as excellent, and it was just a great day overall…

Some random thoughts:

The other brides were right: I should have had a videographer. While my photographer did a phenomenal job, and we have wedding pictures to die for, there is so much that we didn’t see go on at our own wedding–it would have been nice to watch after the fact…

My husband and I did the impossible: We came in under budget, by about 15%…

When a bunch of people declined the invitation to be part of our special day, I felt bad, but having a smaller wedding (115) was definitely better–I had time to spend with my guests, the service was better and there was a intimate feeling you dont get with 200 or 200 people…

We didn’t play all those horrible songs you hear at weddings: “Shout”, “Old Time Rock n’ Roll”, “Get the Party Started” “The Chicken Dance” etc etc–and guess what? NO ONE missed them–actually, we got compliments on our DJ and the wedding music selections…

Have a more casual rehearsal dinner if you are going to have a formal wedding. When we were planning out rehearsal dinner, my Dad brought up an excellent point–why have essentially the same food at the rehearsal dinner as the wedding? So we opted for wings and pizza and a magnificent chocolate grooms cake (baked by the groom, no less), which allowed for a much more relaxed and casual atmosphere, not to mention saved up a TON of money…

Wait to go on your honeymoon–dont leave the morning after your wedding. My husband and I are cruising to Bermuda on September 1–which is about 6 weeks after our wedding. When we booked the trip, the main reason we did it was we could get a better price not going in July. But I am so glad we did. If we had left for the pier in Phila the day after our wedding, we would have practically slept through the 1st 2-3 days of our cruise. We stayed in a hotel on our wedding night, and then came home and unpacked all the gifts and stuff that was in our car from the night before, and just CRASHED–we were exhausted…Also by waiting, we have something to look forward to–and more time to prepare…

If you are thoughtful about how you want your wedding reception to go, and focus on the personal touches, rather than what is the most expensive thing, you can have a wedding that is relatively inexpensive, but your guest think you spent 5 times the amount…

Some of the things we did:

We do alot of community theatre, so instead of table numbers, we did names of plays and musicals we did together as table names–and not only did we do the names, we actually made mini show posters for each table, and listed any cast and crew from the specific show that were at the wedding…

Since we were married outdoors by a judge, we were able to craft our ceremony to reflect our uniqueness and individuality–from the music (I walked down the aisle to “Summoning the Muse” by Dead Can Dance…)to our readings ( “Honoring the Directions” and An excerpt from “The Prophet” by Khalil Gabran) to our vows. Many people at our wedding had never been to a civil ceremony before–and quite a few thought it was actually better than the church ones they have been too…

Instead of throwing a garter and a bouquet–we had an anniversary dance–which is where all the couples dance on the dance floor, and the DJ asks people to leave the floor according to anniversaries–and the couple who have been together the longest, got the bouquet.

In some ways the day went by in a blur, and in some ways it went very slowly, and there was a bit of a letdown after the fact, a feeling of “NOW what am I going to do, now that I dont have wedding plans to deal with?” But what I miss most about our wedding day, is the feeling of complete and utter love and support from everyone around us–the vibe was so positive and happy–I wish it lasted forever…

So now I go from Bride to Wife myself, I offer this one last piece of advice to all brides: Make it about you and your husband–I don’t mean be a bridezilla and offend and drive crazy everyone around you. I mean THINK about the small touches that make your wedding YOURS. And that is not the most expensive dress, or a $1000 cake, its the parts of your lives that are important to you-THOSE are the things that should be a part of your wedding day…

Congratulations–and Good Luck!